Tour

Tour.
It had to be the most amazing 4 day trip of my life.
I am in such an amazing mood right now.
I probably won't ever blog about what I did, but I am going to talk about how much I have enjoyed the opportunity of being able to be in the Orchestra Program at the Junior High and High School.

It started in 6th grade. We all knew that we had to choose what music thing to take. Some of us took choir, some band, and some general music. (BLEH)
And the amazing elite people choose to take Orchestra. I was one of them. I have always had a love for music.
I don't know what I would do without music.  Music is amazing. Anyways, I chose to take orchestra. I also chose cello. I am so glad with this choice. Cello sounds so much better than any other instrument. Violins are too high, Basses are too low, Cello can hit most of the notes that Basses AND Violins can hit up to a certain shift.
But it is an amazing instrument.
I took summer orchestra for every year that I could. I didn't like it at all, but it was way worth it. I got to be able to have the chance to excel at cello and move up a class. By 9th grade, I was in the highest class. Not the best cellist, I was second chair. Lily 'The Prodigy' Evans was the best. She is holy crap amazing. Anyways. I loved it.
Now time to talk about the teacher. David Beck.
He is the most amazing teacher I have ever had. He loves his students so much. He isn't one of those teachers that will learn your name, where you sit, and stuff like that. He gets to KNOW you. He will know how you life is, he will know what you are doing, he is one of those amazing teachers that actually cares about you. It makes me feel good about the world where there are still people like that. They want to get to know you so they can teach you better.

Then I entered high school. I am so glad I got to have the same teacher. I have had 5 years to know him and he has had 5 years to get to know me. Orchestra has been the greatest opportunity I have had in my life so far, and I am so glad that I have gotten to take it.

I guess this isn't really about tour or my orchestra journey, but mostly about my thanks for it.
I am just so glad that I have gotten the chance to go into a program with some of the most amazing group of kids that I have ever been with.  Yes, some of them can be not too fun to be with, but most all of them are amazing to be with.
This is really a jumbled post, but I don't care. I am just going to type.
Orchestra has been the best thing that has happened to my life. Next year I won't be able to take it. You don't have ANY idea how much that kills me. It is like you are taking away a sibling or something like that. But not being able to take it is going to kill me inside so much. I have never knew how much cello is a part of my life until this year. Last year the only reason I took orchestra was so that I could go on tour, but now I regret having that as the only reason wanting to take orchestra. I am deciding if getting my associates degree is worth it. Giving up something I love for a bunch of money and a head start in college. I am going to need help deciding. I have no idea what to do.

When I told Mr. Beck that I was doing the associates degree program he was quite sad because he knew that I wouldn't be able to take orchestra. I now realize how that feels.
What should I do? I want help. I want to do orchestra so badly.

I love everyone in orchestra and everyone that went on tour. I got to know so many more people I made so many new friends. I am so glad I got to spend my week with you all. You guys are amazing. I want to tell you guys that you are the best and you are the ones that are the most amazing people I have ever met. I can't wait to spend the rest of this year with you and I am so sad that I won't be able to be with you guys next year. You have no idea how much it kills me. I love you guys. So much. I just can't say it enough how amazing you make my life.
And a special shout out to Mr Beck for being the most amazing teacher I have ever had. I have learned so many life lessons from him that I will never forget. I am going to miss that man so much. He has been the most amazing teacher I have had and will ever have.

I wish it never would happen.

Death.
We all know it will happen.
We don't know when
We don't know where
We don't know how. But we will all die.
I hate this fact.
I hate it with a passion.
I don't know why we can't just all keep living.
I know that it is sometimes better for people to die.
But I wish they wouldn't.
There are too many good people in this world.
On reddit... the top post of the day was of a woman and her two children.
The man who posted it told us that it is his favorite picture of his wife and two children. His wife passed away due to cancer.
Even though I don't even know who the heck they are, I got all teary eyed.
Like I said. I hate death.

I am reading a book called Tuesdays with Morrie.
It is about the life of Morrie, a man who is going to die in a few weeks. One of his favorite students, Mitch, talks to him every Tuesday, making a trip of hundreds of miles each week to talk with him.
I am pretty sure that I am going to cry at the end of this book when he dies...
People dying is pretty much the only thing that will make me cry.
I know, I am totally manly like that.
But since I can remember I have only cried when someone I knew, or didn't know, died.
I have no idea why I am writing this post.
But oh well.

My grandpa and my grandma are sick. My grandpa is having stomach problems. My grandma has severe alzheimer's. She doesn't even remember her husband or daughters. I have the feeling that they are going to die sometime soon. I don't know why I think this. But I just know.
I am not saying this so I can get people to say they are sorry.
I am saying this so I can be ready when it happens.

I am posting this so I can be ready.
So I can be ready for others deaths.
So I can be ready to cope with my death.

I hate

I hate school.
I hate stress.
I hate school councilors.
I hate math.
I hate the stress of college.
I hate not knowing what is going to happen in the future.
I hate the fact knowing that if I don't do well I will be paying for college.
I hate stupid people that screw up my futures.
I hate when I stay up and worry.
I hate facebook.
I hate video games.
I hate not having time to do what I want to do.
I hate not knowing how to do math.
I hate... life right now. "
But don't worry. I will probably feel better in the morning when I have to wake up at 5:30 for attendance school.

It was that kind of week.

You know those weeks that you hate, but love?
Last week. Was one of those.
I looked at the schedule for work. I only work once this week.  Good and bad.  Good: I get to spend all the time I am not working studying.  Bad: I get to spend all the time I am not working studying.
I studied all week.  I do not like studying.  But I can stand it for almost every class.  English I can stand it. History I can stand it.  The class that I can not stand it: Math.  You don't know what you are going to get asked. What you need to study the most, the least. What will be asked?  Will it be hard?  Of course it will be. But will it be harder than you expected?  Easier?  Will you think you know all of it way good, then have a major brain fart and forget it all?  That is what I am worried about.  I need to do good on this, or I will fail.  I hate that feeling... So much.  Potential scholarships are on the line with this class.  (I feel like such a nerd saying that)
So. I spent my days studying.  Thursday was special needs.  I studied in the stead of going. I feel bad... but hopefully it will have done me some good.  Hopefully I don't get burned because of it...
Anyways.  I spent my day studying.  Getting the the computer occasionally to check videos to make sure I am doing it right.  Then I take the test.  I am pretty sure I did okay... Hopefully I will do good.  But it is Friday.  I leave for Noah's house to celebrate with some pie and ping pong.  I am so terrible...  So at 4:30 I leave.  Get home at 4:40.  (I don't drive. And my feet were being slow.)  And I go onto the computer to check to see if I am still working.  I find out that I am.  And that I was scheduled for another mission.  That I was an hour late to already.  So I rush to work.  I find out that I had another mission.  Thursday. That I missed.  So pretty much I was way late to one, and I totally skipped another.  Mr. Victor.... was so mad.  So.  So.  Mad.  He wouldn't even lecture me he was so mad....  But there are people there that pick up my slack.  Because I am far from perfect.  (far... FAR from it...)  So it is all cool.
Then I worked. And I find out if I did well on my test soon.  And I kicked BUTT in warball. And TOTALLY SUCKED in churchball.  But that is the usual.  No need to worry.

Well. Everyone is doing it...

I guess I should tell you what I have done this year.

January-Can't remember...
February-Got Starcraft II account.
March- Can't remember...
April- Planned totally awesome April Fool jokes.  Didn't do any...
May- Drove for the first time.
June- Got a job!
July- Celebrated the fact that I lived 365 days!
August-  Found out that Emilee Keele was moving.  3000 miles away.  Lame.  Oh, and went on a date.  It was kind of a fail date... And really didn't count as one.
September- Had the best day ever... and discovered Skrillex. Second best day ever.
October- Went to my first school dance.... JUST KIDDING
November- Discovered League of Legends.  Soooooo great
December-  Realized I had one year to live on the 21st.  Had Christmas.  Stayed home alone on New Years and blogged. Totally fine with it.
Have an amazing year 3 people that read my blog.
<3 Spencer.